Nov. 18 2:36 (Thurs)
What I would blog if I could blog.
Well I am sittin' here on the train. . . it's 3:05pm or something like that. My computer says 2:06pm so that means that is California time. I have already watched "Fellowship of the Ring" and now I am on "The Two Towers". I am pissed off because I forgot to buy "Return of the King." I mean (oh this is the funny part. Gandalf's clothes have some kind of power!) I had no space for another movie but I would love to watch that too.
What bothers me about trains is that sometimes you just sit there. You are not picking anyone up you are just sitting (Oh this is the best part. I love Theoden. I would name my son after him if it didn't sound so ridiculous. It's an awesome name in Middle Earth though - I love that line when he says, "Dark have been my dreams of late." ) Anyway, we are sitting around because freight trains are passing. I think they always seem to be going ultra fast and this train. . . I can just walk along side it and keep up. Maybe a slight jog. Anyway, there goes Theoden. Fuckin' Aragorn shouldn't have stopped Theoden from killing Grimmer Wormtounge. Isn't that funny that his name is Wormtounge. I find it funny.
When I think of kings I think of Theoden. The LOTR (Lord of the Rings for those of you unaware) soundtrack for the second movie just has such kingly music too. Dun-dun-dun dun - da-da-da dun! Why is Eowen singing. And why is it that they talk in one language and sing in another. And you know what else I noticed? ALL the music from the movie is NOT on the soundtrack. What a gyp.
Anyway, I was thinking about how I abstained from watching this movie for so long because I felt like I watched it to the point of boredom. Well. . . now that I am watching these I get all choked up and teary eyed and shit. Boy. . . I was about to cry when Samwise (that's another honorable name) ran out into the water after Frodo. I thought that was so awesome. They had friendship.
Thank all of you guys that came to see me off. As embarrassed and hypersensitive as I felt, I was so happy to be able to see you guys. (There ain't no wireless networks in this part of the country. Nothing but pyramid shaped mountains and flat lands as far as the eyes can see. I am in a place right now that has nothing much. Arizona. . . what a wack state. Hundreds of tiny palm tree looking things but I doubt they will grow any bigger. It's too dry. Everyone drives a truck out here.
Gandalf said, 300 lives of men I've walked this Earth and now I have no time. Damn he is old. You know what I was noticing this time around watching these movies. . . that the time it takes them to get all these places is like major. At the beginning of the first movie, Gandalf says. . . it will take 40 days to get to Moria or something like that. (uh-oh Eowen is falling for Aragorn. Too bad Biiatch! That's Arwen's man. But I guess what's one wen vs. another?)
Lord of the Rings has some cool names too. Like Rohan! Yeah baby. . . I'll be a rider of Rohan. Or whatever. I also think Eomer is a hottie. Of course I can't stray from my Elves. . . Legolas. . . that's still my man though I'd have a little Eomer on the side.
There are kids on the train. One is crying now. Poor thing. . . parents dragging her across the country cramped up on this pile of iron. I was ambitious today. I started out typing my old stories but I need something to hold it up. Having to look down makes it so that I can't type fast enough so I gave it up.
Last night Sergio helped me bring my stuff. I pulled one on the baggage claim guy. He was letting me slide with stuff cause I started crying LOL. Women. . . you have to use what God gave you, or rather, what God gave men, a weakness for women's tears, to fix their problems. So he did.
But now I got a heavy ass box on the train. It's gonna suck trying to get it off. I have that box, my laptop bag, my carry-on bag, my DVD case, my purse. This kensington lock came in handy. When I leave my seat I don't feel stressed about this computer. A guy on here was asking me did I have a Mac. I have been wearing my Apple shirts. I figure that is a pretty good guess. Georgia is going to suck monkey balls but hopefully the people I am with will be awesome. They seem like it. They are excited to have me.
I watched Spirited Away today too. I didn't finish it though cause I got bored. But I have been thinking, all the things I think about watching have to do with people who are afraid of everything having to become brave. It sounds a lot like where I am now. I think that I am very excited about my big change. I hate not being in Cali though. It is the place to be. Wish I could get the net. I would be watching Homestar Runner. Everybody. . . everybody! Everybody! Do de do de do.
Damn. . . I thought these chairs would be more comfortable and they actually aren't that bad. The problem is, I always have one little crook in my back or something. I attribute it to being fat. Oh well. Such is life. We are moving SOOOOOO FUCKING SLOW! GEEZ! A tractor just passed us! (To be fair it was on the back of a truck but I think a tractor could pass us).
Everybody . . . everybody. . . everybody. . . do de do de do. Anyway, oh here are the giant elephants. . . on the movie. . . not outside. There are 18 wheelers mostly. A regular truck every once in a while. We are gaining speed. Now I bet we are going a whopping 15 miles per hour!
The scenary isn't much. Oh we are in New Mexico now. The computer is telling me to put in the other Lord of the Rings disc but I think I will watch another movie. What could I watch. Nah. . . I will play super mario. That is always fun. Everybody. . . everybody. . . everybody. . . do de do de do.
5:00pm (Thurs)
Just passed by Mexico. It's amazing that just over the fence, the quality of life decreases dramatically. I have no clue where we are. I think Texas. (I was way off - 11:24 Sat.)
6:05pm (Thurs)
Damn. . . we are slowly moving oh. . . wait. . . we are not moving, that's the train next door. Another fuckin' freight train. Anyway. I am going to watch Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Maybe that will be boring enough to put me to sleep. Looking out the window when we are NOT moving makes me dizzy because I keep thinking we are moving. Oh well. . . my ears hurt from these in-ear headphones. Hopefully they won't kill my ears. I had just thought of something I wanted to blog but I completely forgot what it was. Oh well. I'll try again later.
7:08pm (Thurs)
Now this is interesting. I went into the bathroom. . . the ladies. And I saw that there is a trash can and a sanitary napkins/diapers 'can' right next to it. It's just built into the sink. I took a look and discovered, they both go to the same hole. What is that about?
9:34pm AKA WTF??!?!?! (Thurs)
Well now this is even more interesting than that last thing I said. I gave Jack a call, like I normally do. His aunt picked up the phone and said that words that made my world come crashing down. I am just still in shock from it. She said, "Bear doesn't live here anymore." (Bear is Jack's nickname, BTW). I was like. . . OMG^10 (You math nuts should get that one). So what is going on. I am curious now. But I don't really want to ask him because I don't want him to get upset with Molly, his aunt. So I have these thoughts running through my head of me sitting at the Jacksonville station wondering what to do. Feeling like I couldn't come back to Pasadena and contemplating even going to Mississippi. I call one more time and ask for Jack's mom. She is at work so I leave a message for her with my phone number. Then my phone rings again. It says 'Bear' on it because that's what I have it programmed to say. It's Molly's boyfriend who I had just left the number with, David. He asks did I just call the last 2 times. I was like yeah. Then he said they made a mistake. Bear is at the club working or out with his friend Fox. You don't know how happy I was to hear that news. But now the question becomes, why did they say that in the first place. They were saying they were sorry for the mix up and they looked forward to meeting me. I feel like I am in that part of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade or is that one? Anyway it's the Holy Grail one. I am stepping out into that space where supposedly there is a bridge but I can't see one. If I fall, I'll be ruined. But if I step out and Jack is there to catch me, things will be better. I can't really sleep after that phone call. I will finish watching a movie. I am sick of movies now. I am just ready to be there. Then it will all be over.
7:18am (not sure which time zone. . . possibly central) (Fri)
Well here is why you shouldn't take a train. As of now, we are six hours behind schedule. There are freight trains everywhere apparently. This is pissing me off. I am supposed to be there tomorrow. . . who knows. I might end up there Sunday! Fuck! (Sat. 11:27 - that is what ended up happening)
7:21am
Um. . . too bad it's not Africa out there, at least we could see some animals.
7:56am (Fri)
I forgot to put my Sims disc in my bag (Once again we are following a freight train. It looks like those things are really fast. These trains however are not. . . I guess it's beccause they are passenger trains. Six hours! Geez. They said when we get to Louisiana we have a 2 hour layover. I am like WTF! I didn't know this! Hopefully they will make it short so that we can get there within only 4 hours of the estimated time. When I was taking the Coast Starlight up to Northern Cali. . . it was never late like this. Maybe 1 hour perhaps but not 6 geez! I guess if you factor in (someone just asked me about a wall plug. They might try to take it damn). Anyway, if you factor in the frickin' time percentages or some shit like that, it might be relative. He is saying it's going to take more than 4 hours to get to Houston. Texas is a big ass state. The real problem is, it's wide. California is not hard to cross cause it is long. Geez! Motherfuckin' trains. I thought this would be fun and for the first 24 hours it was. Up until they said it was a 6 hour delay.
8:11am (Fri)
I just saw a hawk. It was white and brown. Cool.
A plane takes off. It's central time. A dusty road. Cows, horses, goats. An old barn next to a new house. Water towers. muddy puddles. A train whistle blows. Rancho Del Rio. The sun. Speckled fields growing wild. Small houses, trailer. (I think I pulled a groin muscle :( It hurts bad. Hope I didn't ruin my child bearing years).
11:09am (Fri)
I think someone walked away with my sponge bob square pants DVD. Glad it wasn't my favorite one, and I'm really glad I have been locking up my shit. 90 % of this trip has been sitting FUCK! You can only watch so many movies before that becomes extremely boring too.
1:58pm (I think central) (Fri)
I went to the observation deck to see if there was a place I could lay down. My groin is bothering me so bad. I probably have jacked myself up pretty good. I have an ice tea on it now. LOL. It's hot as fuck right now. Some guy collapsed outside before getting on the train. Apparently he was drunk, fell, passed out and broke his nose. Paramedics were on the train asking the other people questions. I guess they were people who just got on at this station. I am weary of getting off on stops (oh great now the train is off. . . no air at all) because I have this fear that I will be left behind.
There is a guy reading off destinations . . . I think he is making a voice recording or something. We are soooo delayed it fucking sucks.
I am hot. . . tired. . . in pain. . . OH SHIT! I forgot I had some ibueprophen or however you spell it. I'm like, oh shit, I'll take that. My groin will probably feel much better. Oh well. We are in San Antonio Texas. I got off here to get a cold soda to put on my groin. I decided Iced Tea was probably the best bet for some reason. I guess because it's 'iced' tea. Anyway I am going to try that frickin' ibueprophen in a bit. YEAH the air is back on! Amen! I played mario for a second but I lost that same level 4 times so I got sick of it. I am so pissed that my Sims disc is not in my carry on stuff. I JUST WASN'T THINKING. I am going to read or something. Shit I'm bored. I imagined being more entertained than this. Might watch Lord of the Rings again. I haven't finished the 2 towers but I want to watch the other one again. Just got finished watching o' brother where art thou. I wonder why they picked that name. Anyway. . . we are still in San Antonio. . . fuckin' Texas. Makes me think of George Bush.
3:48pm (Fri)
We are sitting again. Probably not 25 minutes out of San Antonio :( This sucks monkey balls. I swear I could walk to Georgia before this train gets there. I should have brought some non-in-ear headphones. Watching Lord of the Rings again. I can't get comfortable enough read. I am wondering should I go to the dinning car? I would have to sit with someone else. I suppose I don't need to go. Back to LOTR: Fellowship.
4:07pm (Fri)
I was just about to blog that we are still sitting here but now we are moving. I read something earlier I don't know if I mentioned it and I am too lazy to go look for it. It said that from now on this train the Sunset Limited 2 would be experiencing moderate to lengthy delays. They don't tell you that shit when you are buying your ticket.
4:21pm (Fri)
I am hopeful. I am looking at Texas and thinking I could probably make it in the South. I was an awesome teacher. Need a little bit more organizational skills but that's just finding a plan and sticking with it. Other than that I am good. My first order of business will be to see if I can find a school (private?) that will at least hire me as a T.A. If they are willing to give me more than that hell I'll take it. Then I can continue school. I thought about lying and saying I had a degree. Some small town school probably wouldn't check but then I think, God didn't bring me through what he did to have me lie. He gave me a lot of gifts that I can use on those merits without having to lie. I think lying about something like that would be slapping God in the face saying, 'You didn't quite give me enough." As I look out the window, I am excited and confident. Who wouldn't want to hire me. I just wish I had more of my teaching things. Wait, I think I did bring some of it. Maybe I didn't though. I don't know what's in those boxes LOL. I think I left my teaching stuff. Oh well. I have pictures of my classroom. They can see all the awesome things I've done. I am excited. I don't think I am on this trip for nothing. There is hope at the end of the Railroad. (If I ever get there. . . fuckin' freight trains).
4:50pm (Fri)
I just saw a water tower that was a watermelon. That's cute. I am listening to a DVD that a passenger gave me. It's called "Medea". I've never heard of it but it's pretty funny.
5:21pm (Fri)
Llamas!
5:55pm (Fri)
The Bible says women ain't supposed to make coffee. It says 'He-brews' LOL (joke from 'Medea' - a play about a family in which the matron. . . the grandmother is actually played by a guy. He is hilarious).
6:33pm (Fri) (I think this is Eastern time not central. They just announced dinner reservations for 5:30)
Anyway, I just got done watching that movie. It was a bootleg of a play. Pretty funny. Skipped past all the gospel singing. But I usually skip past any singing on a movie. I ain't into show tunes unless it's something like the nightmare before Christmas. Back to LOTR: Fellowship. For some reason I don't want to move on to the Two Towers. I think it's because it's more about the Elves in the first one. But no sé. I am pissed because my 'c' key gets stuck sometimes and my 'e' has half the 'e' on it. I am frustrated about that because it's a new computer. Someone just walked by and asked me if I had a CD Player. (Weird) Now the woman that lent me the movie has a friend that is going to come sit with me for a bit. I am looking at the country-side and thinking it is so awesome. I love the country. I always remember that. I love the country. I just hate the people I was around. But maybe it wasn't even that but that I hated myself. That's too deep for yall I bet. That's alright. I am excited and hopeful even though the train is like 8 hours or more late now. Watching LOTR again. I am a bit bored but my groin pull or whatever I did is making it hard for me to want to move around the train. I don't think it hurts so much as it is uncomfortable. Oh there goes the Smith. . . he is the king of Rivendell. . . Lord Eldrond. I love Lord of the Rings. I love the Silmarillion. It's all so wonderful.
Some guy was smoking in the bathroom even after they said not to. I found that so strange. I think people can be weirdos sometimes. How are you going to smoke when it says 'Do not smoke.' To be fair it says 'Thank you for not smoking.' You can hardly expect people to listen when you don't give them direct commands. It should say, 'I am going to kick your @#*$&)@##(@*#)(*#@)*!!!!!!! if you are smoking' LOL. Oh there goes my man Legolas. I don't like that dude in anything else. I love him as Legolas though. That's it. Someone just walked by and inquired about how we were watching movies over here if there is no power. The other lady was like you have to charge it. It made it sound like you had to charge it before you left but it's running off original power. But instead, I said, "Some seats have outlets." This is a problem. Hopefully I won't be dealing with a train again and I am the lucky person that gets to use the plug for 3 days. Tight. The problem is, now people are going to 'know' there are plugs. I don't mind folks coming by to charge their stuff. I invited people to do it. I don't want anyone to think I'm selfish. But I don't want anyone to come by and be like, 'Trade seats with me. You've been there long enough.'
Funny. I'm sick of this train. I feel like I am living here. I am going to put on my P.J.s tonight. I didn't yesterday but it's cool tonight.
7:08pm (Fri)
We've been fuckin' sittin' again.
8:41pm (Fri)
Just changed into my P.J.s I am a little hot now from changing and cleaning up in that little room but I am sure I will cool down faster like this.
10:49pm (Fri)
Watching The Two Towers. Jack is playing Halo. He probably expects me to call 9:00 Cali time. My groin still hurts. It's bothering me and the medicine did nothing to help. I hope that this won't require a doctor. My butt also hurts now. We have stopped several times. Do they factor any of these stops into the time? Gotta get back to LOTR. The Ents are about to get mad!
11:19pm (Fri)
Just got done with TT. I only watched the second disk. This computer seems so bright now. They turned off all the lights. I am getting very bored. Maybe Jack will call me soon. My ass hurts too. But I just realized, this seat is more comfortable (I just switched to the other side by the window). Listening to my LOTR/Enya compilation. That fuckin' groin pull. That's what I'm going to call it. I hope it's nothing serious. Jack's family seems very excited to meet me. I hope I am a little better than they are expecting. I am afraid of that. I will hate it if they are like ew.
I am really wishing I had the third LOTR movie. I was thinking about some of the scenes. Like when Haldir gets killed fighting at Helm's deep. There was something very saddening about an Elf dying. Even with any of the Elves. It's like. . . wow. . . these powerful people have fallen. But my favorite scene in TT is when Haldir walks up to Helm's Deep with his warrior party care of Eldrond and he is like, 'Eldrond sends his word, we got this biatch.' Nah, but it would have been hilarious if he had said something like that. Probably did while filming.
LOTR is such (I wrote suck at first) beautiful story. I am amazed. I wish I could create something like it. I was inspired to write but saddened to think that I couldn't come up with something equally as amazing. It's such a beautiful tale. It's amazing the work put into the movies as well. I mean Peter Jackson was on one seriously. It's like, the magic of it, the heart of it is so real. I can't believe that there will ever be anything like it again. It is a master piece. I wonder if in Heaven, or even now, God recognizes our art forms as beautiful. I mean sure they aren't what he has created and most times it's taking stuff he's created and bending it, but if God made such creative people, then there must be appreciation for the things we do. I don't know if anything I have done has amazed him, but I wonder if he looked down on Tolkien and said, "well done." I mean do all of the things we do have to be evangelism for him to appreciate it of us. I mean some people would say LOTR is allegorical but Tolkien says it's not. Even so, there are many who see the spiritual connections. Perhaps without even trying Tolkien did it. From his stand point, he would say, these things should be natural when recreating a world. I feel like recreating a world right now. I think I'll write while I'm inspired. So see, there is nothing new under the sun. Well to Tolkien and Peter Jackson, I say 'Well Done.' My heart leaps, cries, laughs, and pains with every word of the book and scene in the movie. Jackson did it. Tolkien did it. It's done.
11:05 am (Sat)
I have seen some amazing things. My travel through Louisiana was beautiful. We crossed lots of swamp/marsh land. We passed right over the Mississippi river and now the conductor has just called that we are now stopping in Gulfport Mississippi. I am filled with a certain guilt that I didn't tell my mother I was moving. I think she will be happy in the end. It has been raining since we got to New Orleans and it still rains now. I won't get off the train. Not with my hair LOL. But as I look around at the small town of Gulfport with the rain pouring down I see so many old style buildings. They were probably built recently . . . in the past 20 years at least but everything here has that look, like it is a hundred years behind the times. I don't know how I feel about it. Traversing through Louisiana was beautiful and my mouth was open for much of the trip in awe of the beauty, ducks, cranes, gulls. It was all amazing. But then when I realized (and no one told me, I just knew) that we were in Mississippi, something in me paused. This whole trip I have been excited or impatient to get to my destination. In a way I still am (we will arrive 10 hours late . . . thus far anyway), but I definitely have come to the realization that the place I have hated for so long is now the place I am returning to. I don't know how I feel about it now. I think about Jack and his family and I think wow. . . it will be great, but then when I look at my surroundings. . . and you know, maybe Brunswick will be different but I doubt it. I think it will be like this. I am a little afraid. Gosh, I don't know. I am a bit weirded out I guess. I am worried white people will hate me. The ratio of trucks to cars has probably tripled since I left Cali. That is irritating. Drive a fuckin' mini why don't you! I saw one in New Orleans. . . probably the last one I'll see. The spell checker on this thing actually told me I spelled 'fuckin' wrong and suggested 'fucking'. LOL. What has the world come to?
11:43 am (Sat)
The mighty Mississippi is at least 2 if not 3 football fields wide. Wow. Is it me or are there 4 times the amount of power lines down here?
1:13pm
We are entering Alabama I think. I just saw a bunch of 'Mobile' signs LOL. At first I thought it was Mobil. Like the gas station. I am ready to be there already. I haven't taken my hair down yet. It's raining which is just perfect. That means that no matter what, my hair will be crazy. I wish I could have gotten it braided before I left but oh well. Such is life. I have been sitting on my jacket (I just realized how painful that was) and it's surprisingly warm :) I always spell surprise with a 'z'. Apparently the computer is telling me that is wrong :( It just doesn't look right with an 's'. I haven't really read any of my book and I am tempted to put LOTR back on. I am going through an obsessive phase. This happens to me when I am trying to avoid reality. I think this whole thing is just a bit big for someone like me. I hope I grow. I hope I don't just stay the same. I think I have some of those fucking follicles growing on my tonsils again. FUCK FUCK MOTHERFUCKER! The computer is telling me that motherfucker is spelled wrong. It just doesn't know that word yet I guess LOL. I called Sergio but he was sleeping. Might call him again in a bit. I want to get a new AOL email addy. Something like Heretic but of course that's going to be taken. I love that name though. If you add anything to it it becomes lame :( It's pretty damn cold on the train. I went down earlier to change back into regular clothes and freshen up. I am wearing regular old stuff I'm comfortable in. Hopefully Jack will think I'm aight. He said for me not to worry. It's funny. When people say don't worry, I start worrying even more. Maybe they should say 'You should worry.' Then the stress of it would be so hard to bear that I would just give up hope. I was thinking working on the Amtrak train would probably be cool. It's not like you are rushing to get anywhere. You can have your own little sleeping quarters. I want to take a look at my throat. Fuckin' follicles. We are in Mobile now. We are about to stop. I am freezing. It's the rain. It's cold outside. Damn I ate all my ice before drinking (I actually started to spell drinking dreaking LOL) my soda. Now I have hot soda. but I guess that's alright. It's already cold and the ice just made me more cold.
I am listening to a mixture of Ray Charles (Thanks Von) and Nina Simone. That is some good shit. It's like when you are taking your first puff of some of that Sonoma grown good chronic. I just thought, I could probably call the police and tell them Larry is in possession of drugs. Then he would get like 15 years or something. HAHAHAHA. It would be the ultimate revenge. But I won't bother. My groin. OH! It sucks. Nina's words:
'I'm gonna lay down my head on some lonesome railroad line
Let the 219 train, ease my troubled mind.'
Damn that's depressing. The guy who makes the dining car announcements has a funny accent. I want to laugh every time I hear it. 'Trouble in mind, I'm blue, but I won't be blue always cause the sun's gonna shine, in my back door some day.' Mobile is off of the water. That's cool. Here we go, 'Georgia on my mind.' The train has stopped but it's not level so I am feeling the need to lean over to the left. The woman from earlier just brought over an article about Orlando Bloom. She is nice. I wonder why she is nice to me. I don't know. Anyway, I am sooooo fuckin' bored. I play Mario but after losing a few times that gets extremely boring. I wish I had a fuckin' decaf java chip frappucino with whipped cream. I don't know why I just thought of that but I did.
5:03pm
I would have been at the station by now if this fucking train had been on time. As it is I am in Florida. I've been having a nice look at the Gulf of Mexico for quite some time. I guess we are going inland now. . . but on the other side of the train I can see it now. I have no directional sense. Anyway, my groin area I think is getting worse. It is not helped by the fact that my back is killing me. It's just one spot too that won't let me get comfortable. So I gave up on sleeping and decided to go head and take my hair down. I look like a true California girl. I don't know what these people will be able to make of me. I am a bit more scared. Oh well. Too late to turn back now. I hope Brunswick is a little nicer than these places I've been passing. I see one problem. There are so many destroyed houses. You will be passing by somewhere where there are no houses and see a piece of a roof out there. Hurricanes are a pretty serious thing. But then it's weird because the vegetation out here grows so much differently. I suppose in California stuff won't grow unless you plant it so where ever it's planted it's organized as such. Here we are passing places that look like time forgot about them. If it weren't for the occasional bridge or road you could picture yourself back in a swamp back in the days of the dinosaur. It's just that wild. Uh-oh. . . here comes a T-Rex! He's coming straight for the train! LOL. Jack was upset because of the time delays and was like 'You should have just taken a plane!' Well I probably should have. I would have had 4 hours of trauma as opposed to a couple of days of misery. The difference is that the airplane charges you like 50 per bag that you go over on. And I don't trust a plane weighed down with all that extra baggage. It's all foggy now. Haven't seen that for a while. It's pretty cool. It's been raining since Louisiana. I think about the names of the places down here. It's interesting. I mean out in Cali everything is Spanish origin. Here you get the Indian names like Mississippi or the French names like Louisiana. It's cool. There are so many places that look only slightly better than TJ. That is scary. I hope I am never living in a trailer but I guess if you are happy it doesn't much matter. Damn. I hate that when I go to type damn I always type 'dman' LOL. My fuckin' back geez. I can't believe it's going to take fuckin' 8 hours to get to the other end of Florida. If I had been driving I'd probably be there by now. Listening to some Nina now. My back!
I am wearing my 'Live Strong' bracelet that Von let me have after I gave him a headache. And I am wearing on the same arm, my super mario sweat band thingy. The effect is startling. I look like I am in high school. I think that is pretty cool. . . I took 10 years off of my life with a freaky hair do and some sporty attire. Everything over here is so run down. I want to be like, clean this shit up. There is the fuzz. They pulled somebody over or something. Then there is a boat ran up on the shore. That one looked kind of funny. I wonder which of you guys is still reading this. I wonder how many pages it is. I did it in 'Textedit'. Why did Mac go so Windows? I am upset about this. Everything is like PC. Is it the best of PC combined with the best of Mac? I don't know. I still haven't seen an alligator and I am pissed off about it. I am so fucking tired. When I get there I am probably just going to collapse. I changed my screensaver to my pictures folder so it shows pics of my class. Ironically on that same set it shows Mrs. Kafi and her gossip group. I just wince when I see it. I am bored as fuck la la la-la. I am bored as fuck la la la-la. I am in pain no matter how I sit. FUCKIN' FEMALE BODY!
9:06pm
Well if this isn't the essence of hilarity. Tipton got a vasectomy. I would die laughing if I didn't have a groin injury. I called Adrienne back and told her it was probably sympathy pains from Tipton's neutering. HAHAHAHAHA. He is a neuter. If I am not mistaken, this means . . . nah. . . I won't go there. It's damn funny though. My stomach is hurting. I went earlier to have dinner in the dining car. For some reason I have been buying food on the train and I guess it's because you can only eat low-carb bars for so long before you are crying for regularity. I am listening to a great song that reminds me of the Apple Store. "Magic Love". It's where I first discovered the song and immediately I had to download it. My ears hurt from these ear buds though. Now my stomach hurts, my back has a crook in it (I think he stole my lungs), and my sympathy pains for Tipton are making the continuation of this trip a misery. I am excited in a sense I just wish I was more comfortable. I should have put up the additional money for a sleeper car. It would have been wise. I don't think we are in Tallahassee yet. Wow. . .I spelled that right! That's a cool word. Tallahassee. Sounds so neat. Well I surely now believe that taking the train takes much longer than driving in New York City traffic for 3000 miles LOL. At least then there are other cars you can honk and yell at. Here we just have to sit back and wait. Jack said something interesting. I said I wanted to go to visit my mom for Christmas if I could. He said, "I want to come too." I thought wow. . . my mom would be freaked. He was like we could stay at a hotel in town so we didn't bother them. I wonder if all this shaking is harmful to my ibook. Anyway, I said they probably would rather we were married if we were staying together like that. He said, 'We'll just have to do something about that then.' I'm like wow. . . he is so serious about me. Sometimes it's frightening. Sometimes it's reassuring. Hopefully I will be seeing him soon. I can't believe I am doing this. His family is very excited about me. I hope they are actually excited and not just being nice. I wonder sometimes. This guy keeps walking by and I want to ask him what is our current ETA for Jacksonville but I am too shy :( I hate that. My fuckin' groin! It hurts like hell when I move. It's not even a major pain, it's more like unusual and I associate it with my ovaries so more than anything the little pain that is there, I fear it is a major problem. I hope it's just sore and that a few days of being able to lie down and stretch out will appease my muscles and/or ovaries. I have read that scarring can damage your chances of having a baby. . . scarring on your ovaries. It's interesting that the body is built to heal itself but scarring in those sorts of places can make you infertile. I hope that will not be the case with me. :(
Game says in that 'Whole City Behind Us' song: My beats was so sick, I should have got a medic, but my credit was so pathetic I couldn't afford a debit. LOL.
I like ludacris. . . like I like him in the way that I think he is a cool dude. I don't know any of his music aside from this (that I know of). My back. This is the whiniest blog ever I bet.
7:52pm Sun
Well I am here at my new home so to speak. Everything is cool. Jack is great. He is exactly what I expected and in some ways shockingly so. He is ultra sweet. He thinks a lot of what I say and his family thinks I am cool. They told him he'd better stay off his ass and work hard to keep me :) Jack's cousin Kaleb is 13. After I told him how I was into Anime and video games, he likes to hang out with me. He keeps coming to show me things and asks me to come and see the levels he is on in his video games. It's cool. The poor kid has like a deformity from a car accident and can't see very well at all. He can play video games but smaller things he can't see like words. He can't read :( I had forgotten that Jack told me about that. He went to the store with me today. I took Jack's car. Jack is very serious about me. His friend Fox came to pick me up this morning (early). He is cool. Jack was being very weird but I think it was because he was nervous. Fox would see how no-nonsense I talked to Jack and he would laugh and say, "This is going to be great. I can't wait to see how this works. Can I put hidden cameras up?" I think Jack felt kinda like a kid dealing with that and it made him more obnoxious but when we got back, he was more agreeable to talk about things. He puts up a huge front. Fox said that. "See, this guy, he calls himself bear, but my daughter, she calls him Teddybear." Fox is cool and funny as hell. He took us to the Waffle House and was making jokes with the manager saying that he was being racist etc. Anyway, Fox is the kind of guy that I could see someone like my dad hanging out with. Jack has been sweet. He is so sensitive with me. Then I think I am sometimes too mean. I was talking to him about healthier eating habits for both of us because we went out to lunch and he brought a lot of things that would be considered unhealthy. He is already massively over weight and I worry about him. He is an awesome guy though. I think that he doesn't like to talk about this but his weight is probably the reason he feels so isolated. The house here is different than I expected. That's all I can say. Ah well. Such is life. I traded a few nicer things for a nicer guy.
I am starting to think about work. I want to apply at some schools but the realization that school has already started has hit home. I will see about daycare or youth centers too. I gotta figure out how to find out about it. There was a church around the corner. Might inquire there. Who knows? This town is not too small. Different than I imagined. I imagined dirt roads etc.
Jack wants to get married. That is a scary thought. For the first time in my life I am worried about marriage.
2:06pm (Mon)
What am I talking about? This is insane. Things are much different than I thought they'd be. I am alright with that though. Just ready to get things going and possibly move out of here. It's alright. Everyone is nice. But as far as classes of living, this one is one that I am not too sure about. It's alright though. Guess I just need to adjust. I am happy with Jack. Other stuff I just have to lie to myself about.
